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| Sep 08, 2010 - 05:47 AM |
Queen City News - Helena's FREE Weekly Newspaper |
Helena, Montana |
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When this whole school board sex education thing came up, I had no interest in writing about it. Most of the time, I'm content to sit back and let other people scream until hoarse or vent their spleens on useless “moral” issues, particularly when (in this case) a pervasive culture of sex and sexuality overrides any parent attempting to control their child. But, when the arguing reaches a fever pitch, I get curious.
So I started paying attention. I read the 62-page Helena Public Schools Health Enhancement K-12 Critical Competencies Draft, not just the Human Sexuality section (which makes up like five pages). I went to the school board meeting last week. I saw flocks of misguided zealots picketing with Bible verses to justify setting educational standards. Half the time, I walked around just looking at people, fascinated by how many moralists I forgot existed. Particularly telling was the exaggerated moaning, groaning, and other signs of disrespect given to the openly gay speakers.
From what I’ve seen and read, proponents of the draft curriculum go on about the facts of biology, the neutrality of pure information, and other logical, well-thought-out arguments. Opponents make several arguments, most of which break down into these objections: that kids are too young to learn about sex, schools will be usurping parental authority, kids learning about sex will continue to make poor choices (teen pregnancy, STDs), and being gay is bad.
Let’s talk about when it’s appropriate to discuss sex and certain sex acts with one’s children. (Disclaimer: I don’t have any kids, in part because of decent sex education from my parents, Central School, Helena Middle School, and Helena High School.) When to discuss these issues is a highly personal decision influenced by a parent’s upbringing, past (sexual) experiences, and religious background. But the fact is that parents have a lot less influence than they think. Your kid’s world is dominated by the Internet (read: ubiquitous sex and unrestricted access), pervasive sexuality (see: Seventeen magazine), and natural human curiosity (also extending to your kid’s peers). Right now, I guarantee that your kid is thinking of the next party and whatever girl or boy they want to hook up with. You can try and stem the tide, but you’ll only create a resentful, even more dedicated, child. The best way is to educate and try to gently guide your kid to make good decisions. I recommend the “whatever you’re going to do, just do it safely” approach.
A lot of the proposed sex-education curriculum is about preventing abuse. Teaching your kid what constitutes a sex act is a necessary precursor to communicating what constitutes unwanted and unlawful touching.
I’ll admit there is some stuff in there that I wouldn’t want my hypothetical kids learning about in the second and third grades. We want children to maintain the innocence and hopeful outlook we had before we grew up (and therefore covet so badly). But they’re going to learn someday anyway, so better to start early on at least knowing about prevention. Knowledge is power.
Opponents argue that the school system will be taking over their role as parents in dictating when and how their children learn about sex. Unfortunately for them, however, we live in a democracy, which means the majority beliefs trump the minority, unless you want to put your kid in some private and/or religious school. And there are some things that the school system deems too important to be left up to the parents, for instance creating and maintaining a healthy diet and level of exercise. Parents may not be ready or competent enough to educate their children about sex, leading to increases in STD rates and teen pregnancy, so the public schools do it for you.
Some believe that educating children about sex will all of a sudden make them want to have sex more. This breaks down mostly into a statistics war, with opponents presenting information from whatever “pro-family” organization supports their beliefs, and others citing the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Look, kids are already interested in sex. Health class isn’t going to instantly turn children into sex-crazed zombies; puberty will. It’s a human need, just like eating or sleeping or wearing shoes. Just tell them how to do it safely and maybe they won’t accidentally knock up their girlfriends or get some STD.
Finally, opponents make the argument that the new sexual education curriculum will encourage homosexuality. Frankly, I’m not sure how this argument is even socially acceptable, as I see no difference between blatant homophobia and blatant racism. The draft does state that people of the same gender can love each other. But similar to the earlier discussion on types of sex acts, the fact that homosexuality exists is the precursor to talking about the importance of tolerance. If you don’t know gay people exist, you don’t know it’s not cool to discriminate against them. Does it talk about how being gay is awesome? No, it doesn’t. Besides, in today’s hateful climate, who would “choose” to be?
Let’s not forget that we’re talking about five pages here. There are many pages on how great abstinence is and many more focusing on good decision-making. There’s a lot of good stuff in there, including eating disorders and media critiques, the definition of a healthy relationship, and the definition of consent. So try to think of the whole child and not just the buzzwords.
Oh, and if you honestly care about your child(ren), do yourself a favor and check out the real manipulation being enforced in the U.S. public school system in the documentary “The War on Kids.”
(Alex Gersovitz of Helena is a native Montanan and a college senior.)
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